Dhanurdhara Swami February 28th, 2001
New Jersey
I’m recovering at my mother’s house, which for now provides the seclusion and facilities I need for recovery. The surgery feels much better, but I think the drugs I took in the hospital have substantially weakened me. I hardly remember ever having taken even an aspirin in the last thirty years, but all day today there is fever, weakness, and a stomach virus.
Dhanurdhara Swami February 27th, 2001
Bhaktivedanta Hospital/New York/New Jersey
A tough morning for the body, but some nice thoughts for the mind. Spontaneous devotional service means to aspire for the mood of the brijabasi. Although Srila Prabhupada has not revealed his eternal identity, I do know it in a sense. I know something of his qualities and his consciousness, which certainly must reflect his eternal mood of service in Vrindaban. By meditating on and aspiring for that, and contemplating how it’s connected with Vrindaban, it’s a preliminary meditation on following the mood of the brijabasis.
I leave early in the morning for the 7am flight to the U.S., but I’m still not well. The doctor said that full recovery could take a month. A tough flight back, but it ould have been much worse. Krishna protected me.
Dhanurdhara Swami February 26th, 2001
Bhaktivedanta Hospital - Bombay
More sannyasis are stopping in for a pit stop. Prahladananda Swami and Bhakti Caitanya Swami arrive today for some medical care. Now that I no longer going to Mayapur at the time of the GBC meetings, there are certain Godbrothers that I rarely see. We are all past fifty and our bodies are naturally wearing down so now the hospital is probably the most likely place I will see them. Prahladananda Swami and Bhakti Caitanya Maharaja are both very much involved with and staunchly loyal to the institutional side of ISKCON. By fate, I am much different. In some ways we are not likeminded, but they are real gentlemen, I respect them as saints, and admire their steady unmotivated service. I enjoy their association.
Dhanurdhara Swami February 25th, 2001
Bhaktivedanta Hospital - Bombay
I met Mother Nartaki, my Godsister and a professional nurse who just returned from the earthquake-afflicted area of Gujarat. She noted how pious people take shelter of God in distress. As their harinam party went from village to village, the people enthusiastically welcomed the devotees. At one village one family, including a mother with an injured child in her arms, came running to their door to respectfully greet the kirtan party. Nartaki Mataji looked up in appreciation at these pious and perseverant people, but cried when she noticed that the frame of their front door was the only thing still standing in their home. She cried for their suffering, cried for their stoicism, and cried for their simple piety and devotion.
She opined that such people would do much better than us at the time of death. They already struggle and work hard living a simple village farm life and are already so tolerant of bodily inconvenience and difficulty.
Giriraja, the orthopedic surgeon, also confirmed this. He has been operating on many of the villagers from Gujarat who have been rushed to the Bhaktivedanta Hospital. He described that because of their rigorous and natural life there are so much stronger than the people form the city. As proof of this, he described how after operating on some of the Gujarati earthquake victims, their bones would heal twice as fast as people with similar conditions from Bombay.
Dhanurdhara Swami February 24th, 2001
February 24, 2001
Bhaktivedanta Hospital - Bombay
In the last week I couldn’t concentrate and enjoy Krishna consciousness because of my discomfort and illness. My condition wasn’t that bad. Isn’t it time that I started transcending the bodily concept of life? What will I do at death? The happiness of Krishna consciousness is bhakti, or love?a condition of the heart. Why should it be so hampered by the condition of my body? Perhaps I am equating spiritual consciousness with mundane comforts and peacefulness and thus becoming discouraged in spiritual life by the uneasiness of illness.